I work in an insurance office and so I frequently have to add/delete vehicles off of clients’ policies. This means that often have to recite Vehicle Identification Numbers. As VINs are 17 digits/letters long, people usually assign a word for each letter to avoid confusion (i.e. “A” as in “apple,” “V” as in “Victor,” “S” as in “syphilis”). For whatever reason, any time the VIN contains a juxtaposed “B” and “G,” everybody (customer service reps, dealers, clients, etc…) automatically says “Boy George.” Not “‘B’ as in ‘boy, ‘G’ as in ‘George,'” – “Boy George!” I must hear it at least three times a day. It’s just a bizarre anomaly. Only once, I heard a woman use “Boy Girl,” but she also sounded slow. The auto insurance industry is apparently a massive underground culture club.
Egan – A Visit From the Goon Squad
3 Oct
A Visit From the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan (2010)
Time is a goon…and so is this novel.
Whatever happened to the conventional novel as opposed to the contemporary novel-ty novel? I’m all for creativity and trying for something new, but a chapter done in Powerpoint? What’s next…Chapter 14 is displayed at night in the lit windows of a Manhattan skyscraper (hmm…maybe I’m on to something). I am getting a little tired of contemporary literature that lets the story/characters take a back seat to Creative Writing 101 toying.
The novel is Continue reading
Atari 2600
2 Oct
Sadly, my downstairs neighbors, Marc y Mark, moved out a few months ago. There is, however, usually a silver lining to every cloud. In this case, it was free stuff. I was gifted a number of vinyls, a few DVDs including Fellini’s “Amarcord” which saves me $30 (fucking greedy Criterion Collection), a statuette of the Stay Puft marshmallow man, a Mr. Beer kit and an Atari 2600.
The system, released in 1977, admittedly predates my time, though I did play some growing up with older cousins. I have amassed a sizable collection of video games which I will continue to post on. The Atari fills an important void in my collection of home consoles as it was really the first of its kind.
I actually have the 1982 “Darth Vader” model. This is not the first Atari I’ve owned. In fact Continue reading
Cell Phone
1 OctI hadn’t hated myself more in recent memory than today. I woke up at 2:40pm still drunk from last night and went to grab my phone which usually sleeps with me. It wasn’t there. I checked the floor, the common room, the kitchen, the refrigerator (I’ve found it in there before). I couldn’t have lost it out, because I didn’t go out…because it was a Friday and I’m in my mid-20’s.
I felt a draft from an open window and the thought occurred to me that I should check the back deck. There was my phone, sitting precariously on the back ledge, completely soaked. I barely recalled going outside at around 4am to have a cigarette that my friend left behind which I completely didn’t need for two reasons: 1) my health, and 2) a cigarette at the end of a long night of drinking usually cuts my drunken motor skills in half and I end up decorating my body with bruises.
I immediately disassembled the phone and dried it the best I could. It didn’t respond to the power button. I left it on the charger in front of a fan for two hours (because I don’t own a god damn blow-dryer). Now, the power button doesn’t work, but the phone does respond when it is opened. I am praying that the touch screen still works, otherwise, this will be the third Droid that I have gone through.
This whole experience was a bit of a reality check. I am far too dependent on my phone for somebody who is not important at all. I wonder how many times a day I check facebook on my phone thinking “I wonder what’s new” only to realize that I checked it 15 minutes prior and nothing ever happens ever.
Jever Pilsener
30 SepGerman Pilsener
Rating: B-
Poured from bottle to pint glass.
Color is a transparent straw-yellow. It has a thin, bright white head with nice retention and lacing. Aroma is very green bottle skunky at first, then earthy, malt and grass. At first, the taste is honey-sweet and then gives way to a strong, but not entirely unpleasant bitterness. There are hints of cracker and grainy malt with a bit of astringency. Medium body with good, zingy carbonation. The dry finish sort of sits on the back of your tongue. Pretty average.
Lagunitas Pils
30 SepCzech Pilsener
Rating: B-
Poured from bottle to pint glass.
The beer is a clear yellow with a 1-finger, tiny-bubbled white head. Minimal spider-webby lacing. Nose is extremely bready up front, followed by apricot, citrus, earthy hops and a bit of malt. The aroma gets a bit grassy as the beer drinks down. A crisp, caramel sweetness transitions to hops, crackery malt and then back to sweet. It seemsto be a little too much on the sweet side, but is a fairly well-balanced nonetheless. Medium body with light carbonation, a little oily on the tongue. I thought the finish would be crisper, but it is slightly wet. It doesn’t seem terribly indicative of a Pils, though a decent drink. I would have it again, but wouldn’t rave about it.
Childrens Hospital
30 Sep
Childrens Hospital is wildly entertaining, and the episodes are so short at five minutes, that one could easily rip through the first two seasons in an evening. Created by former Daily Show correspondent, Rob Corddry, and produced by Stella triplet David Wain, Childrens Hospital surrounds the lives of a bunch of incompetent doctors Continue reading
The Mangler
30 SepTwo years ago I was living in a two-family home with five friends. It was like a frat house minus the bros, rape and shitty beer.
My friend and roommate at the time, joeb87, noticed one morning that someone had taken his block of pepper jack cheese out of the refrigerator, gnawed on one corner, and replaced it in the deli drawer. We laughed, wondering who the hell would be that much of a dirtbag.
Throughout the next two weeks, there were another three or four attacks. The culprit hit the pepper jack again, hard, joeb87’s jar of peanut butter got hand-scooped and there was a mysterious disappearance of a bag of Doritos. We began referring to said monster as The Mangler Continue reading
The Auteurs – New Wave
29 Sep
New Wave by The Auteurs (1993)
This debut album has a slew of great tracks. The Auteurs, unlike Oasis and Blur, find themselves amongst a number of other Britpop bands that never made a [big] name for themselves in the US: namely Suede, Pulp and Denim. (I feel like I need to start a Britpop band named “Flannel”…who’s with me?) The Auteurs’ sound, Continue reading
the self-hating hipster 