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Left Coast Dwight

14 Jul

(Oh, hello. This is my non-triumphant return to blogging.  Been a while since I checked in around these parts, but I am hoping to change that. Here is another installment of my fictional Sunday newspaper column.)

Dwight Howard will play next season in Los Angeles, whether he likes it or not.  While nothing is official, it seems the Lakers are the last team standing in this race. Brooklyn/New Jersey got up from the table earlier this week, and made their peace with acquiring Joe Johnson and Deron Williams to lead them into the Barclay’s Center next season. Houston, while still technically in the race, is attempting to sell the farm to buy the prized cow.  They even cut loose their hardest working player in hopes of freeing up enough money to land the big fish. Atlanta would have to similarly dismantle their team in order to bring Dwight to town. Continue reading

How to Feel About Albert Pujols After You Forgot He Burned St. Louis

13 Mar

This off season, Albert Pujols became one of the biggest free agent players to hit an open market since Lebron James. It came down to his desire to be one of the highest paid players in the game, and his loyalty to the only organization he ever knew.  In the end, he and his family felt slighted over what they felt was a sub par offer from St. Louis, and chose to sign a 10-year, $254 million dollar contract to join the Los Angeles Angels. Albert switched leagues and joined the AL, where you figure he’ll play a significant role as a DH somewhere down the line.  Consider it a wise move for a player with mild concerns over his actual age, nevermind that he followed the money.

Now that the dust has settled, and uh, new dust is kicking around Continue reading

The one where Justin and Andee breakdown this ridiculous picture of the New York Knicks and Dennis Rodman

4 Mar

11:15 AM Sunday, March 4th:

Justin Knipper

how do you feel about this: http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/986415/AnEZ58ZCEAAfukh_medium.jpg

Andee Marshall

 surprised Rodman isn’t throwing the shocker Continue reading

Dr. Ironfist defeats Del Boy and What It Means For Boxing

19 Feb

Let me start by saying this is no way an endorsement of the rather classless things UK boxer Dereck Chisora did to Vitali Klitschko before their WBC Heavyweight Championship fight on Saturday.  First, at the weigh-in Chisora slapped Klitschko right across the face, which started a small tussle that really didn’t go anywhere because of Vitali’s completely ice cold murderer stoicism. Almost anyone caught up with what’s went on in the boxing world for the last four years or so seemed to indicate this meant Chisora had a deathwish.  If that wasn’t bad enough, as the match was approaching the opening bell, Chisora took the opportunity to get nose-to-nose with Vitali’s brother Wladimir (aka, #2 pound-for-pound  boxer in the world, and reigning IBF, WBO, and IBO Heavyweight Champion) and then be so kind as to spit water in his face.  This incident again was snuffed out by the eerie Ukrainian stoicism Wladimir responded with, but pushed the fight to must-see levels of interest.

Continue reading

Beard of the Week: January 26

26 Jan

It’s Thursday! Which means it’s time for yet one more lovely beard to be honored over here at Beard of the Week!

Let’s go back to the sports world, with the help of pal (and new roomie!), Justin, I’ve come across quite a beard.

Pitcher for the San Francisco Giants, Brian Wilson!

I think that photograph says it all. Continue reading

Tebowmania

11 Jan

Tebowmania is sweeping the nation, with some going as far as wondering if he’s the second coming. A more reasonable question is if he’s a legitimate NFL quarterback? By looking into each component of what makes a good quarterback, I hope to help answer the latter question, while ignoring former one.

Let’s start with winning-percentage. Continue reading

Alternative NFL Awards 2011

4 Jan

The NFL closed the door on its regular season this past Sunday, with the New York Giants defeating the Dallas Cowboys on national television to secure the last available playoff spot.  It was a wild season that saw the revival of football in places like Cincinnati and Detroit.  We saw the meteoric rise and inevitable unraveling of Tim Tebow in a span of eight games.  Carson Palmer is on the Raiders now.  Santonio Holmes hates Mark Sanchez.  Ndamukong Suh decided to Nstomp a guy on Thanksgiving.  The Packers almost went unbeaten, and the Colts almost lost them all.  (Not to mention both streaks ended the same week.) This was the first full season without either Terrell Owens or Randy Moss since 1995. What the hell is going on?  Instead of giving awards based on the normal guard (MVP, Rookie of the Year, Coach of the Year, etc) I am going to make some of my own up, and award them as I see fit.   I would like to also accept all of these awards on behalf of whoever I decide to give them to.  Thank you so much, me.

Most Times Responsible for a Play Ending in My Audible Laughter – Mark Sanchez, QB (NYJ)

Let me be the first to tell you, I do not like the Jets.  I would never allow that to cloud my journalistic integrity though, and simply want to let you know I find the way Sanchez plays quarterback hilarious.  It’s like he’s blindfolded, or at least not wearing his contacts.  He throws a football like how Jackson Pollack threw paint, which is to say completely reckless.  He is on the cutting edge Continue reading