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Beard of the Week: Video Edition

3 Dec

ALRIGHT, I’m late! I know I know I know. But listen, Wednesday night was the celebratory event for Movember where we crowned our favorite mustache, and I’ll be honest, I was a liiiitttllleee hung over (and am right now…), too hung over in fact, to remember to do Beard of the Week.

But WHATEVER! Here we are, and you’re still gettin’ your beard so quit whining.

At some point in the recent past I was sitting in my living room drinking screwdrivers (awful screwdrivers, Crowley orange juice and Crystal Palace…ugh) with my friend Justin and as he’s a music fanatic, Continue reading →

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Beard of the Week: November 24

24 Nov

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! As it happens to fall on a Beard of the Week day, I did a little research, and who knew that turkeys have beards?!

I sure didn’t.

Check it out!

Handsome, eh?

Actually turkeys are arguably one of the ugliest birds on the planet, but at least they have beards!

I also didn’t have time to think of a person to honor this week, so whatever. I’m a slacker, deal with it.

I hope you all had a lovely holiday, and if you don’t celebrate then I hope you had a lovely day in general and be happy that your stomach isn’t distended like mine is right now!

We’ll be back next week with a human beard, be sure to check back!

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Beard of the Week: November 17

17 Nov

I’ve been slacking lately, but goshdarnit I’ve been so tired and things have been so hectic! I, however, will not overlook my beard of the week responsibilities. A more blasphemous thought has never crossed my mind! Continue reading →

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Occupy Self Hating Hipster

10 Nov

I would really like to see this blog take off and you can help to make that happen.  I am looking for two things:

1) Expanding the scope of the website.  I want more visual posts: comics, photographs, paintings, graphic design, video links, etc…  Most of all, I would like to start filming sketches.  I already have a handful of people interested.  We have competent, funny writers (at least I think).  We have access to film equipment.  Why the hell not film?  We do need actors/actresses.  If you are unlucky enough to be in the cultural node that is the greater Albany area (a little harsh, I know) and you’re not scared of the camera, reach out to me.  I want this to eventually become a multi-media venue.

2) Expanding the roster of hipster contributors.  It’s simple.  The more quality posts, the more web traffic.

If you are interested, or have friends that you think would be interested, I highly encourage you to contact me about contributing to the blog.  If you know me personally, contact me directly.  For those of you who are interested and don’t know me, e-mail me at selfhatinghipster@gmail.com with a couple of writing samples, comics, or some other equivalent to act as a mini-portfolio for me to review.

Any and all suggestions are welcome.  If you have a great idea that you think could really get this blog up and sprinting, be sure to tell me!  Before long, you too can Occupy Self Hating Hipster…squattin’ and postin’.

Thanks, everybody!

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Beard of the Week: November 10

10 Nov

It’s that time again!

So, here at Beard of the Week I try to honor some classically great beards, but I also like to shed light on some that I think may get overlooked, and that’s what this week’s beard is all about.

Ladies and gents, Ben Affleck!

Dear Ben,
I’m willing to overlook that trainwreck of a film, Gigli, if you promise to keep a beard at all times.

Forever yours,
Marena

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Thank You #1

6 Nov

I thought I would take a minute to say thank you to all contributors, supporters and visitors.  You are what makes this fun and worth doing.  I wanted to give a special thanks to Joeboy, Andee and Marena.

Joey,

You are the first one who encouraged me to run with this idea and you’re always there to offer support when I feel as though this blog is an exercise in futility.

Andee,

Your sheer volume of posts in the past couple of weeks is impressive to say the least and I’m glad to have you as a collaborator and idea man.

Marena,

Not only do you post almost as much as I do, you’re probably funnier than I am.  You also provide a much-needed female voice.

Sincerely,

The Self-Hating Hipster

I hope this is the first thank you of many!

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Beard of the Week: November 3

3 Nov

This is a very special edition of Beard of the Week! Last night Snugs held the annual Movember Shave-Off, and we were able to raise about 450 dollars for men’s cancer research and awareness!

Instead of honoring a celebrity this week, I’ve decided to honor each of our brave shave-ees, who got up there to raise some money for a great cause!

This was my first beard of the night:

And my second, this guy also lost a mullet and was last years winner for best mustache at the end of the month:

And then, the big breadwinner for the night! He raised 210 dollars, mainly because he set himself a minimum of 150. We pooled together our and got shit done! Our dear friend and bartender:

(all these images are courtesy of my pal Brittany)

 

So that’s that! The night started off with me in beard heaven, and ended with a very sad Marena surrounded by clean-shaven men.

I ended up spending 40 dollars on shaving dudes, but I’d say it was worth it. At least I got to touch a few of them before I said goodbye. (I’m a total perv…)

At the end of the month there will be another event in which all the shaved boys will have a mustache competition. The winner gets a nice little sash and bragging rights for being able to grow the gnarliest facial hair.

Next week we’ll be back to our regular style of Beard of the Week, thank you to all the wonderful dudes who donated themselves to raising money last night! It was a totally rad time!

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Phantom Beard

27 Oct

I feel even worse posting this after Marena’s 3rd installment of beardophilia, but two days ago, I shaved off my beard for the first time in over a year for Halloween.  I feel absolutely naked.  Strange breezes are chilling my cheeks when I’m outside.  People ask for my identification more often.  I can’t save snacks for later in my mustache.

I am also experiencing what I will call “Phantom Beard Syndrome.”  PBS is very similar to the phenonmenon of phantom limbs.  For example, an amputee sometimes experiences severe pain in the big toe of a foot that was amputated years ago.  I on the other hand will go to cup my chin in my hands and slip without the half-inch buffer of beard, or attempt to twist my mustache in deep though only to graze my knuckles on stubble.  The pain I’m suffering is not physical pain (aside from the razor burn on my neck).  No, my phantom beard is causing mental anguish.

My beard has gone through many different stages over the years.

And…

A few days of growth has done nothing for my spirits.  Some people have actually complimented me saying that I look better without the beard.  Those people are idiots.

The one consolation is that beards do grow back.  If anybody knows of any beard steroids, please drop me a line.  Until then, I will just hope and wait; and when my beard does finally return, I will welcome him back with dimpled cheeks.

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Beard of the Week October 27

27 Oct

This is a special Beard of the Week! It’s 2 AM, but as I drunkenly stumbled into my room from the bar I saw a package on my bed which was awesome because it means I got my new computer power adapter three days earlier than expected! So I needed to do SOMETHING moderately relevant with my computer to celebrate.

I’ve decided that the best way to honor beards Continue reading →

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Beard of the Week October 20

20 Oct

It’s that time of the week again! A time when I pick one special beard to honor for an entire seven days, though they probably deserve more.

This week we’re again looking to the past to one man who’s done everything from movies to salad dressing, Mr. Paul Newman (1/26/1925-9/26/2008).

What. A. Hunk.

The tux gets me every time, but come on, we all know it wouldn’t be as fantastic if he was clean-shaven. And even though he didn’t always have a beard, it doesn’t matter because when he does it just looks so good that it makes up for all of his hairless moments.

Because it’s just so nice, here’s another one for kicks:

He had style, he had charisma, he had talent, he was an Aquarius, he donated a buttload of money to charity, and his company still distributes a mean mango salsa (peach and pineapple are also really nice), but one thing will always stand out, and I think we all know what that is.

Rest In Peace, Paul. You may be gone, but your beard will live forever in my heart.

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