Ironic Pro Wrestling T-Shirt of the Week Special Editon: Sin Sentido Común

27 Nov

WWE’s signing of Mexican luchador legend Mistico some months back is likely a decision the board of directors would like to have back.  From the moment he arrived, he has really failed to execute any of the exciting moves he was famous for with any degree of consistency.  Him screwing up his entrance on his first night with the company should have come with a pamphlet explaining the concept of foreshadowing.  Of course, WWE would also never allow someone to make a name for themselves using their own name, so the masked wrestler was rebranded “Sin Cara,” or without face.  This is all without mentioning that he’s already been suspended for alleged steroid use, and has recently ruptured his patella tendon while performing, expecting to miss anywhere from six to nine months.  He’s more or less had his way with the company, one could say.  Then, this happened.  

There is his new shirt from WWE.com. Continue reading →

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Beard of the Week: November 24

24 Nov

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! As it happens to fall on a Beard of the Week day, I did a little research, and who knew that turkeys have beards?!

I sure didn’t.

Check it out!

Handsome, eh?

Actually turkeys are arguably one of the ugliest birds on the planet, but at least they have beards!

I also didn’t have time to think of a person to honor this week, so whatever. I’m a slacker, deal with it.

I hope you all had a lovely holiday, and if you don’t celebrate then I hope you had a lovely day in general and be happy that your stomach isn’t distended like mine is right now!

We’ll be back next week with a human beard, be sure to check back!

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The City Beer Hall

22 Nov

42 Howard Street

Albany, NY 12207

I’m surprised that it’s taken me this long to write about The City Beer Hall.  A review is long overdue.  I figured with Thanksgiving right around the corner, I might as well give thanks for one of the things in my life that I take for granted.

Since opening earlier this year, The City Beer Hall has been my most visited bar.  One week over the summer, I was there eight times in five days.  There are valid reasons…at least I hope.

I heard some months back that a bar was opening up in the old Ballinger’s building.  Bars have had trouble staying open in that spot historically, but I’m rooting for The City Beer Hall.  Why?  Because, unlike the prior establishments, it doesn’t suck.  Oh, and it’s about an eight-minute walk from my apartment.

If you haven’t been to The City Beer Hall yet, you’ll hear two things: “free pizza” and “mechanical bull.”

Not unlike the Crocodile Lounge in the East Village, CBH gives you tickets with every beer for mini pizzas in their adjoined kitchen.  Sure, the beers are a little pricier on account of the pizzas, but I always seem to get my money’s worth.

The pizzas are actually extremely tasty!  The crust is thin and crispy.  It is my recommendation to get no less than two at a time and then sandwich them together: cheese to cheese (after a liberal parming).  It’s like a pizza quesadilla!  As an added bonus, you are usually afforded a colorful anecdote or a joke in the least by the pizza boys (who will remain nameless…you know who you are).  Make sure to tip!

The mechanical bull.  I rarely visit the upstairs anymore, but there absolutely is a mechanical bull up there.  Have I ridden it?  Yes.  What’s the price?  It’s free.  Rather, the price is your dignity.  I’ve been on the bull three times, in two separate nights, for a total of about four seconds.  I think it took me longer to sign the waiver…

The City Beer Hall has numerous other perks (not aforementioned) that keep me coming back.

1) The Staff:  I now know the majority of the bartenders on a first name basis.  At least at the downstairs bar.  And despite my antics, they are always friendly.  The best  bartenders even remember what I normally drink!  It’s like my Cheers.  “…sometimes you wanna go where [the majority of the staff] knows your name, and they’re always [glad/indifferent] you came!”  They’re kind, welcoming and don’t laugh at me when I tell them I think I left my credit card there and I find it in my refrigerator the next day.

2) The Drafts:  CBH has a wealth of beers on tap and they are constantly switching up their selection.  I love trying new things so it’s nice that I’m kept on my beer-swilling toes, though I do still miss my summer session beer, Sly Fox Pils.  Next summer…next summer.

3) The Patio:  Speaking of summer, unfortunately the Beer Hall will lose one of its biggest assets with the declining weather.  It’s massive, and if you’re with a group of people, it’s ideal.  Occupy a picnic table and look at the lights of the Times Union Center across the way.

4) The Menu:  This is admittedly a new development for me, but everything I’ve had at the CBH has been enjoyable.  It’s certainly a step up from bar food.  That is probably due to the fact that the chef from the defunct Wine N’ Diner is in charge.  The man has a good handle on what I call “white boy soul food.”

I recently cleaned my computer desk and lifted a piece of mail to find a Beer Hall pizza ticket depository.  I decided that tonight was going to be arts & crafts night.  I fashioned a CBH turkey out of some unused tickets.  And I cleaned up two weeks ago…Jesus.

Notice the attention to detail and cheap invisible tape.

The City Beer Hall is offering free pizza on Thanksgiving Eve for “Beergiving.”  I encourage you all to attend!  I’ll be there.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Cafe Cortadito

22 Nov

210 E. 3rd Street (Between Avenues B & C)

New York, NY 10009

After numerous trips to NYC to visit my sister, I finally got a chance to try one of her favorite restaurants.  She fell in love with the place the first night she moved to the city.  She and my parents decided to walk around her neighborhood to find a place to eat after moving and unpacking all day.  A block and half away, they stumbled upon this little gem.  My dad rarely talks a place up unless it’s halfway decent.  Cafe Cortadito is well past halfway.

Last Saturday, my sister’s boyfriend, James, and I decided to treat my sister (it was her birthday the night before) and her friend Vanessa to dinner.  We thought a reservation would be a good idea as it was a Saturday night.  We had all been drinking since 1 at brunch.  I was pretty well cocked and so I decided to take a few hours off.  James kept his head down and powered through straight until dinner.  He called at seven o’clock and made a reservation for four under the name “James/Julie…trust me, you know us.”  He then called back saying we’d be a little late when we decided to watch the better part of “Drive.”

When we arrived, it was apparent that they were both very busy and our “reservation” may have been lost in translation (likely James, not the restaurant).  James poked his head in and spoke to the hostess, who happens to be the chef’s wife, to see how long it would be before we could get a table.  She was very sweet and was able to get us a table in the back within 15 minutes.  Until then, we looked at the menu outside salivating.

The inside was very cozy; tight like a lot of smaller restaurants in NYC, but not claustrophobic: the type of restaurant that you don’t want to try to navigate through after a dozen drinks.  I thought it was noisy at first until I realized that our table was contributing to the majority of it.

Within a minute, we had waters, a Stella (for myself) and a pitcher of red sangria (for everybody).  We decided on splitting the Piquillos (stuffed peppers) and Chicarrones de Pollo (marinated chicken) appetizers for the table.  My sister was there the night before with her roommate and also recommended the Yuca Frita con Cortadito Salsa (fried cassava fingers).  

The Piquillos were delectable.  I wished I could have dipped my fingers in the sauce without looking like a cromagnon asshole.  The chicken was very tasty; the seasoning was savory and strong, yet not overpowering.  The sangria was delicious and deceivingly tangy (guh).

The entree was an easy choice for me.  Every time I go to a Cuban restaurant, I try their Ropa Vieja (shredded beef in a creole sauce).  This was the best Ropa Vieja that I’ve ever had by far; wonderfully seasoned and tasted like it had been slow-cooked for a day.  And there was something about the black beans.  Christ, they were delicious!

Come dessert time, we were all stuffed.  In order to make up for the wait, which may or may not have been our fault, the hostess comped a round of champagne for the table.  Exactly what we needed.  The four of us hobbled out of there happy and sated. 

I’m making it a point to try their brunch the next time I’m down there.

Rating: ****1/2

If you’d like to check out the menu, visit their website: Cafe Cortadito

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PETA vs. Nintendo

20 Nov

This is just as ridiculous as it sounds.  There is a pending lawsuit between People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and Nintendo regarding the Tanooki suit in the new Super Mario Bros. 3D game for Nintendo 3DS.  No lie…I saw it on yahoo.com a few days ago.

For those who don’t know, the Tanooki suit was introduced in Super Mario Bros. 3 for NES.  You may recall getting a red feather and then sprouting a pair of ears and a raccoon tail and suddenly you were able to fly and tail swipe.

The full Tanooki suit is all the way to the right.  Nintendo being Nintendo tried to incorporate some nostalgic elements Continue reading →

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Online Dating Experiment Week 3/The End.

18 Nov

In an attempt to put off cleaning my apartment I’ve decided that it’s time for another update.

“Update” meaning I’m telling you all this:

I QUIT!

What have I learned from this experience? Online dating is for chumps.

How many messages did I receive about my fake facial hair? Countless. And why is every guy that messages me so interested in my obsession with ketchup? Literally, every message I received said something along the lines of, “I love ketchup too!”

Well DUH it’s like one of the best condiments ever!

I’m bowing out a week early. Throwing in the towel. Hanging it up to dry. Retiring. Surrendering. Flying the coop. Throwing it out the window.

In short, I’m over it.

I’ve got enough going on in the real world to keep me interested/occupied. All this website did was fill up my email inbox and make me feel like I’m some hyper-critical asshole who won’t give anyone a chance because I ignore all of them because they ALL do something weird/stupid/wrong.

Which is partly true, but still. I don’t need some website making me feel bad because I happen to have high standards.

Basically I’m too much of a jerk to do online dating. That’s the plain and simple truth. I need to be able to size people up in real life. And nothing drives me more crazy than an incapacity/lack of interest in using the English language properly. Don’t browsers have spell check like, built into them nowadays? Online dating is entirely based on your typing! Why wouldn’t you want to sound intelligent!?

Give me a fricken’ break.

And on top of all that I’m just too damn busy to keep up with it. I can’t be bothered to sit down for fifteen minutes and write a well-thought out message to someone.

Here’s how it works for me: Wait ’til the weekend, meet me at the bar, get drunk with me, we’ll talk, and who knows! Maybe sparks will fly, maybe they won’t. Either way, it’s better than trying to figure someone’s first impression out through a computer screen.

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Beard of the Week: November 17

17 Nov

I’ve been slacking lately, but goshdarnit I’ve been so tired and things have been so hectic! I, however, will not overlook my beard of the week responsibilities. A more blasphemous thought has never crossed my mind! Continue reading →

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Hellhound On My Ale

17 Nov

I drove down to New Paltz the other day.  Tiny little hippy town outside of Poughkeepsie, NY.  I have friends that go to college there, and I was somehow lured out of my apartment to go drink out of a keg in a dusty basement.  I mention this, as Evan is a graduate from SUNY New Paltz and Marena is currently attending.  While the traffic was terrible all weekend (Seriously they need more than three roads in that fucking place), and I drank more Red Bull than beer at the aforementioned kegger, I did happen to come across a little gem.  

While getting the keg, I started to mosey around the store to find Dogfish Head Hellhound On My Ale.  The name of the beer is an homage to the legendary blues musician Robert Johnson, who allegedly sold his sold to the devil at the crossroads in exchange for being able to play the guitar.  It was released on what would have been Johnson’s 100th birthday.  The style of beer is an imperial India pale ale, brewed with lemons.  (The lemons are included as a nod to Blind Lemon Jefferson, who influenced Johnson.)  Now, this can go one of two ways.  As with most Dogfish Head offerings, you’re likely to either hate it or love it, and it’s certainly strong.  (My girlfriend tried it and reacted as if a meteor had hit her palate.)  As I read the label, I thought to myself, “I really hope this doesn’t taste like there’s dishwashing detergent in my beer.”  Luckily, the lemon flavor really doesn’t show itself until the finish.  The beer has all the hoppy, citrusy aromas commonly associated with an imperial IPA, but again more lemon than grapefruit.  The beer was meticulously brewed to revolve around the number 100, such as the IBU rating is 100 and the alcohol content is 10.0%.  Having said that, the beer is remarkably drinkable.  As always, imbibe responsibly.  Dogfish Head has become a brewery where I’ve had far more of their seasonals and rarities than I have their year round brews.  If you happen to be out at the store and this catches your eye, you won’t be disappointed.

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The Feelies at Mass MoCA 11/11/2011

16 Nov

I discovered The Feelies in the summer after high school.  I was screwing around on allmusic.com looking at Pavement’s page when I noticed the “Influenced By” section.  At the time (and not much has changed) I was totally obsessed with Pavement.  I figured, why not give some of these bands a shot that supposedly influenced them?  As it turns out, the list was a gold mine.  I recognized some bands, but that list introduced me to Wire, Can, Swell Maps, Half Japanese, Pere Ubu, oh, and The Feelies.  I downloaded their 1980 debut (I was a poor-ass college kid…I’ll make up for it later).  “Crazy Rhythms” became one of my most listened to albums of that year. Continue reading →

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Miracle Noodles!

15 Nov

If you are anything like me, you have a carb problem.  I need starchy food in my diet even at the cost of my waistline.  The real issue is that I don’t get full easily, so I am always looking for ways to stuff myself before digging into a meal.  I have tried several tricks: three glasses of water prior to a meal, snacking on a whole bag of baby carrots during the day and hoping to not be staving by meal time, and my favorite of all, Weight Watcher’s wonderful tid-bit of advice, the “STOP, REST, and ASSESS”- the only problem with that phrase is inevitably if there is pasta in front of me, I STOP eating, REST for few minutes, ASSESS whether I am still hungry, and end up concluding that pounding the rest of the pasta is COMPLETELY necessary.

A few weeks ago my roommate and I were complaining to each other about this addiction and ended up coming across an interesting product online.  It’s called “Miracle Noodles.”  Corny, yes, but when we researched it further, these noodles were too tempting to ignore.  They are soy free, gluten free, and best of all ZERO CALORIES. They have existed in Japan for decade but it was only in recent years that a family brought them back to the U.S. and decided to manufacture the noodles and sell them online.

Okay so at this point you are most likely asking the same question I did: what the hell are they made of then?  And better yet, what could they possibly taste like?!  The noodles are made entirely from soluble plant fiber.  This has two huge advantages: one, there are absolutely no calories, and two, when it reaches your stomach, it expands and gives you the sensation of being full! These noodles come in a variety of pasta shapes (rice, angel hair, rigatoni, etc) and don’t need cooking!  You simply rinse, dry, and add them to any recipe.

Okay thats all well and good, but do they taste like crap?  To be honest, they have no flavor at all.  However, that also means the noodles will absorb any flavors you mix it with.  I have been eating them recently and they are very good in a variety of recipes, and for ZERO CALORIES, I really can’t complain. For just one example of the many meals you could make with these noodles, I made a stir fry with chicken, veggies, and a peanut sauce. Super easy and really delicious.

The last advantage I will note is that these noodles have a 6 month shelf life while still packaged and stay good for four days after they are out of the package.  This is ideal for poor planners like me whose food intake consists mostly of microwaveable dinners and eggs.  So it may be possible to cut down on calories and still eat noodles.  Hey, the more you save, the more wine you can drink…or at least thats how I look at it.

Check them out: Miracle Noodles

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