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The Doritos Locos Taco Supreme

22 Mar

Vanessa’s on a roll.  Here’s another contribution…

First of all, I’m going to get the common “but, but, Taco Bell isn’t AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD!!” cry out of the way. No shit. I lived in California for 22 years and have been to Mexico more times than I can count. I know it’s not “real” Mexican food, but that doesn’t stop it from being awesome. Jurassic Park isn’t a documentary about the time they actually cloned dinosaurs from DNA caught in tree sap and then created a dinosaur safari theme park that went awry. You should also know that isn’t the REAL Mickey Mouse in your family photos from Disneyland circa 1992. But those things are still good things, and Continue reading →

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I Don’t Like St. Patrick’s Day

16 Mar

I am an Irish American. My name is Eamonn, and this is no exaggeration, every week of my adult life I have to correct someone on the pronunciation of my name (or I just ignore the mispronunciation). As we approach March 17th I have come to the conclusion that I don’t actually like St. Patrick’s Day.

Don’t get me wrong. I like to get wasted just as much as the next guy (actually, I’m and old man (26) and I can’t handle getting wasted anymore), but I feel like St. Patrick’s Day is completely devoid of Irish culture. It’s just a bunch of drunk people.  A bunch of drunk people that don’t know who Oscar Wylde, James Joyce or Continue reading →

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Medications, HIPAA and an Open Letter to Obnoxious Words With Frienders

13 Jan

Let me tell you how my life has been for the past month and a half…(feel free to stop reading now)

I have been working 50-55 hour weeks as it is the busiest time of the year for my line of business.  Thus, I have had some anxiety issues.  By issues, I mean I have three to four mild (jittery, numb, shortness of breath) to medium (shaking, little feeling in my extremities, tightness in my chest and slight hyperventilation) panic attacks a week at work.  I have been on medications to manage long-term and acute anxiety since I was 17.  This week found me completely out of one and running low on the other. Continue reading →

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Bus Etiquette

9 Jan

Every day I ride the bus to and from work. I would not call myself a bus veteran, but I have been riding it long enough to know that there is an etiquette that should be followed by all patrons. The problem is that this etiquette has never been defined.  In an effort to make the bus riding process more enjoyable for everyone, I will attempt to distill this etiquette into a list of clear rules and regulations.

If you are paying with cash, go to the back of the line: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been standing behind someone on a rainy day waiting for them to cram a moist dollar bill into the machine.  It’s not going to work!  Continue reading →

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I Probably Don’t Like You.

4 Jan

I was going to write an article about my favorite things about 2011, but then I realized I am not in fact Oprah, and no one probably cares about what my favorite things are.

I have decided to write about something else though, something that has been coming up more in recent months than it ever has before. Apparently people are often confused about my feelings for them? Now, with a little alcohol I’m pretty much an open book about any of my thoughts, but honestly, I’ve always considered myself pretty friendly and usually approachable. I do tend to wear my feelings Continue reading →

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Christmas Ornaments: The X-Mas Whack Pack

23 Dec

To usher in the Christmas spirit (not to alienate non-Christians, but I’ve been saying “Happy Holidays” all goddam week to avoid stepping on anyone’s toes) I decided it might be fun to do an article on Christmas ornaments.

Each and every year, at least since I’ve been able to stand up, decorating the Christmas tree has been a family affair.  Once the tree sets, the lights go up.  Then my little sister and I would set all the ornaments out on the floor and have an informal draft.  These drafts could get heated because my sister and I both love really stupid looking things.  Over the years, the draft became a keeper league, and I have built up quite a roster: The X-Mas Whack Pack.

We’ll go one by one… Continue reading →

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Ironic Pro Wrestling T-Shirt of the Week Special Editon: Sin Sentido Común

27 Nov

WWE’s signing of Mexican luchador legend Mistico some months back is likely a decision the board of directors would like to have back.  From the moment he arrived, he has really failed to execute any of the exciting moves he was famous for with any degree of consistency.  Him screwing up his entrance on his first night with the company should have come with a pamphlet explaining the concept of foreshadowing.  Of course, WWE would also never allow someone to make a name for themselves using their own name, so the masked wrestler was rebranded “Sin Cara,” or without face.  This is all without mentioning that he’s already been suspended for alleged steroid use, and has recently ruptured his patella tendon while performing, expecting to miss anywhere from six to nine months.  He’s more or less had his way with the company, one could say.  Then, this happened.  

There is his new shirt from WWE.com. Continue reading →

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Resident Evil: Code Halloween

2 Nov

I figured I’d post on Resident Evil as my friend and RE guru, Steve and I dressed up as RE characters for Halloween and because what better time than the Halloween week to revisit the survival horror classic. Continue reading →

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Escape from the Zooey

2 Nov

A while back, one of my favorite blogger/columnists Drew Magary wrote something about the seemingly unstoppable force that is Taylor Swift. While it was a humor piece, the message was clear.  Finally someone voiced their frustrations about a young woman who despite her own good intentions, was being forced down the throats of the American public at large, in four minute sugary doses of pre-teen country songs.  It was a refreshing take on a celebrity who more or less got a free pass in public relations because her big moment Continue reading →

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Ironic Pro Wrestling T-Shirt of the Week!

1 Nov

I lived in Cohoes, NY for a few months during the two year purgatory stint I did for a health insurance company.  It was closer to work, got to move out of mom’s house, etc.  I was nineteen.  I probably wouldn’t do it again if I had the option.  No regrets or anything, just poorly conceived.  Cohoes was home to Vliet Mart, a mom & pop convenience store up the street from my grungy bachelor pad.  It sold what you’d normally come to find at one of these.   Continue reading →

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