I am an Irish American. My name is Eamonn, and this is no exaggeration, every week of my adult life I have to correct someone on the pronunciation of my name (or I just ignore the mispronunciation). As we approach March 17th I have come to the conclusion that I don’t actually like St. Patrick’s Day.
Don’t get me wrong. I like to get wasted just as much as the next guy (actually, I’m and old man (26) and I can’t handle getting wasted anymore), but I feel like St. Patrick’s Day is completely devoid of Irish culture. It’s just a bunch of drunk people. A bunch of drunk people that don’t know who Oscar Wylde, James Joyce or Thin Lizzy are. Part of me feels like the celebration of St. Patrick’s Day should be restricted to people who have legitimate Irish heritage, or are Catholic; other than that, you can NOT go to the parade!
The thing is, I honestly can’t remember having a good St. Patrick’s Day. Last year I was unemployed and couldn’t afford to spend money on anything other than rent and food; but even when I can afford booze, it’s a little frustrating spending the entire day meeting new people, having to explain to them how to pronounce your name and that, no its not Muslim, its Gaelic and yes I do remember the song “Fuck it (I Don’t Want You Back)”. St. Patrick’s day should be the one day of the year where I DON’T have to have these types of conversations!
I think if I do anything this year, I’ll head down to South Boston with a sack full of Thin Lizzy albums and multiple copies of Ulysses, jump into the parade and start throwing them like candy to the crowd. Either that or stay in and watch television, because like I said, I’m an old man (26).
the self-hating hipster 
I am also 26 and I feel your pain. Instead of drinking the day away, I napped and read a bit. Because I have some Irish heritage on my father’s side, I threw on a green polo shirt and made chicken cordon bleu (traditional Irish cuisine, of course) for my lady friend and I. I am just now getting buzzed and hope to be comfortably drunk by the time I finish doing my laundry.