I lived in Cohoes, NY for a few months during the two year purgatory stint I did for a health insurance company. It was closer to work,
got to move out of mom’s house, etc. I was nineteen. I probably wouldn’t do it again if I had the option. No regrets or anything, just poorly conceived. Cohoes was home to Vliet Mart, a mom & pop convenience store up the street from my grungy bachelor pad. It sold what you’d normally come to find at one of these. Continue reading
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Museum Replicas Limited
27 Oct
It is not often that I consider myself blessed, but every two months or so, our apartment receives a copy of Museum Replicas Limited and I immediately retreat to the bathroom to leaf through it on the can. I got a copy in the mail shortly after my roommate and I moved in and the first thing I thought was I bet these guys made a mint with all the bros the Halloween after 300 came out in theaters…”I NEED a costume that is COOL and can show EVERYBODY how JACKED I am!” This catalog is anything but cool (at least in the traditional sense). Continue reading
Ironic Pro Wrestling T-Shirt of the Week!
25 OctThe ironic t-shirt phase has taken a down turn as of late, no? The last post I made took me to a head shop, where while making my purchase I noticed the novelty shirts for sale along the wall. These said things like “NO. SERIOUSLY. FUCK YOU DUDE,” and “FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK,” or my personal favorite “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.” Reminds me of my dear twin sister. They had trademarks on them from 1996. 1996! Are they the same ones? 1996, Pavement hadn’t even Continue reading
A Hipster’s Guide to Online Dating or Why Online Dating Blows
24 OctI am writing this because a friend expressed to me that he wished there was a Consumer Report for dating websites. I’ll do the best that I can since I’ve had some experience with a few sites and know others that have traded notes with me.
Online dating is becoming more and more popular in modern day culture for those people that are emotionally available, but don’t really have a venue for meeting people outside of friends, friends of friends, or the bars. I finally relented and started a match.com profile about two years ago when I recognized that I am awful with meeting/talking to women. This is three years after my friend Slippy created an eHarmony account for me one day when I was at class in college after whining too much; I was listed as an alcoholic hang-glider that was obsessed with “The Jungle Book”….and I deserved it. Continue reading
Shia Labeouf Gets Pummeled
18 OctI’ve been waiting for this since he was cast as the lead in Transformers (my favorite childhood cartoon and a movie franchise that I have avoided like the plague). Finally, Shia Labeouf gets his ass kicked Continue reading
Ex-Girlfriend Sightings
15 OctWhy do I have to look like absolute shit every time I run into an ex?
My dream is to bump into an ex girlfriend at some formal event where I’m in a suit, looking sharp, hair did, holding a high ball of scotch, with a better looking girl on my arm; Continue reading
The Wedding
10 OctI have not posted in a couple of days because I had a weekend wedding getaway at a resort in the Catskills. You may be wondering if it was my wedding. It wasn’t. My friends John and Carrie got married after being engaged for over a year. I’m still a tiger out there, and you can’t put a leash on a tiger (translation: I spend many horny nights alone at home).
There are few different kinds of weddings:
1) You are the friend and guest of Continue reading
Advertisements
5 OctMy coworker was kind enough to set some advertisements aside that she thought I needed to see. I did.
What exactly happens in Pleasuretown? A bunch of hedonistic swingers exchange sexual favors for pretzels? And the ticket is one-way? I have to work tomorrow, is round-trip available? Continue reading
Boy George
3 OctI work in an insurance office and so I frequently have to add/delete vehicles off of clients’ policies. This means that often have to recite Vehicle Identification Numbers. As VINs are 17 digits/letters long, people usually assign a word for each letter to avoid confusion (i.e. “A” as in “apple,” “V” as in “Victor,” “S” as in “syphilis”). For whatever reason, any time the VIN contains a juxtaposed “B” and “G,” everybody (customer service reps, dealers, clients, etc…) automatically says “Boy George.” Not “‘B’ as in ‘boy, ‘G’ as in ‘George,'” – “Boy George!” I must hear it at least three times a day. It’s just a bizarre anomaly. Only once, I heard a woman use “Boy Girl,” but she also sounded slow. The auto insurance industry is apparently a massive underground culture club.
the self-hating hipster 