Why do I have to look like absolute shit every time I run into an ex?
My dream is to bump into an ex girlfriend at some formal event where I’m in a suit, looking sharp, hair did, holding a high ball of scotch, with a better looking girl on my arm; Continue reading
I have not posted in a couple of days because I had a weekend wedding getaway at a resort in the Catskills. You may be wondering if it was my wedding. It wasn’t. My friends John and Carrie got married after being engaged for over a year. I’m still a tiger out there, and you can’t put a leash on a tiger (translation: I spend many horny nights alone at home).
There are few different kinds of weddings:
1) You are the friend and guest of Continue reading
My coworker was kind enough to set some advertisements aside that she thought I needed to see. I did.
What exactly happens in Pleasuretown? A bunch of hedonistic swingers exchange sexual favors for pretzels? And the ticket is one-way? I have to work tomorrow, is round-trip available? Continue reading
American Pale Ale
Rating: B-
Poured from bottle to pint glass.
Pours a cloudy amber with a 3-finger white head. Leaves striated lacing. The aroma is the most impressive thing about this beer. It has a caramel malt, piney hops, minty and floral. The taste is much less compelling; it is basically like a bland version of the aroma. The mouthfeel is smooth , light-medium body, light carbonation and a very dry finish. I’d like to try this on tap somewhere to see if it’s any tastier, but I will not be buying the beer again anytime soon.
710 New Loudon Road
Latham, NY 12110
When I heard about this place in the Times Union a few weeks ago, I knew that I had to go. My friend Rachel who showed me the article suggested that we go last night, and I graciously accepted her offer. The concept: all-you-can-eat sushi for a fixed price ($20 during the week and $22 on weekends). Hypothetically, a twosome could get an unlimited amount of sushi for around the same price as a dinner at Friendly’s…if they skip cocktails. There is one caveat. If you do not finish your food, you are charged the a la carte price for said items. But, you can order as many times as you want, so don’t go in there on an empty stomach like I did and start marking up the order sheet like a dumb kid’s report card.
The all-you-can-eat menu is actually pretty extensive. They have nigiri, sashimi, soups & salads and kitchen food (katsu, gyoza, wontons, etc…).
Round 1
I wish I had a picture but neither of us had eaten since around noon, so we dutifully pounded an order of pork katsu, some gyoza and shared a vegetable udon. All were very tasty. I know I was hungry, but I’m pretty sure I only took two breaths in that five minute period; the rest was all swallowing.
Round 2
I actually was able to get a picture in before going to Pound Town (population: 2). From left to right: Philly Roll, Tiger Roll, “X Roll” (middle) and Crazy Girl Roll w/ 4 pieces of eel and 2 yellowtail. Rachel, coming off a half marathon this past Saturday and myself, coming out after a fasting monk workday absolutely slammed Round 2 and had ordered Round 3 before the ring girls were able to circle the restaurant with the round card.
Round 3
I again let my hunger get the best of my memory and myunched half the plate with Rachel before I took a picture. Trust me, the plating was gorgeous before the mau-ing. A Spider Roll, a Sunshine Roll and 2 salmon, 2 white tuna, 2 more eel, 1 red snapper and 1 shrimp.
Round 4
After consulting our bored, yet very charismatic waiter (it was late on a Monday night after all), we ended up with the inflated order of beef ribs, rock shrimp, shumai and baked mussels. Rachel, the trooper that she is, ate just less than half of Round 4 and politely asked for me to bat cleanup. I swallowed the last few bites like a head-pumping tortoise.
The two of us decided to forgo dessert since we had reached “uncomfortably full.” They did offer a variety of ice creams, including green tea and red bean which I love. We came very close to splitting a green tea since it was free, but I was already fading fast: the Terri Schiavo of sushi.
I’m fairly certain that Rachel and I consumed 800% of our daily sodium thanks to the soy sauce; we’ll be retaining water for the next three months. Whatever. She ran over 13 miles on Saturday and I woke up drunk both mornings this weekend, so we’re good. After some quick calculation I determined that we ate approximately $150 worth of food if we were to have ordered it a la carte.
I would highly recommend this place. Out of everything we ordered, the only roll that was sub-par was the Spider. There was an automatic 16% gratuity, but Rachel and I left a few bucks behind because the waiter complimented Rachel on her nails and my water was refilled every five minutes as it seems to be in any Japanese restaurant. If you are going to try Sushi X, make sure that you go with friends who don’t judge (i.e. not a date restaurant).
I decided to reinvest myself in football this year. I hadn’t really followed the sport since the Bledsoe-era Bills, but after watching the home opener Bills and Raiders game live at Ralph Wilson Stadium, I was sort of hooked. I had the pleasure of sharing the experience with my Bills super-fan friend, Douche (sorry, Steve, we do need to stop calling you that), who intensified every exciting play with “Let’s go Buffalo!” screams and hand-numbing high fives.
After their victory over the Patriots for the first time in 16 years last week, they were one of three teams that had a 3-0 record (not to mention four picks off Brady). It was a disappointing loss yesterday to the Bengals, particularly considering the fact that they were up for the majority of the game and the controversial ruling on the incomplete pass which terminated a successful drive. Bills’ defense looked really sharp, Fitzpatrick, not so much. In any event, I’m looking forward to next week and will probably spend too much money on a jersey to go with the hat I bought at the stadium (what a shmuck).
I used to make fun of my diehard Mets/Bills fan friends for being masochists. Now I’m a Twins/Bills fan. Christ.
It’s not a hobby. I have an unhealthy obsession with spreadsheeting.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a disorganized, dumpy piece of shit. That is true for the most part; however, I spend a lot of time organizing the things that I actually care about (i.e. music, movies, books, video games etc…)
My DVD’s are organized alpha by title and sequestered into movies, box sets, television, documentaries and music. In similar fashion, my books are Continue reading
I work in an insurance office and so I frequently have to add/delete vehicles off of clients’ policies. This means that often have to recite Vehicle Identification Numbers. As VINs are 17 digits/letters long, people usually assign a word for each letter to avoid confusion (i.e. “A” as in “apple,” “V” as in “Victor,” “S” as in “syphilis”). For whatever reason, any time the VIN contains a juxtaposed “B” and “G,” everybody (customer service reps, dealers, clients, etc…) automatically says “Boy George.” Not “‘B’ as in ‘boy, ‘G’ as in ‘George,'” – “Boy George!” I must hear it at least three times a day. It’s just a bizarre anomaly. Only once, I heard a woman use “Boy Girl,” but she also sounded slow. The auto insurance industry is apparently a massive underground culture club.
A Visit From the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan (2010)
Time is a goon…and so is this novel.
Whatever happened to the conventional novel as opposed to the contemporary novel-ty novel? I’m all for creativity and trying for something new, but a chapter done in Powerpoint? What’s next…Chapter 14 is displayed at night in the lit windows of a Manhattan skyscraper (hmm…maybe I’m on to something). I am getting a little tired of contemporary literature that lets the story/characters take a back seat to Creative Writing 101 toying.
The novel is Continue reading
the self-hating hipster 