Tag Archives: light beer

Bud Light Platinum

29 Jan

Somewhere, likely in Missouri, someone decided that Bud Light just wasn’t getting America’s college students and off-duty bus drivers drunk fast enough.  Why sell it in a brown beer bottle, when it can be blue? Let’s pretend there is somehow a premium clientele for our high selling, beer-flavored enhanced water beverage.  The end result, is Bud Light Platinum.

Anheuser-Busch’s newest creation boasts a 6 percent alcohol by volume, (up from 4.2%) and a special blue bottle normally reserved for over priced mineral water sold to women in funny hats at the race courses.  Bud Light Platinum is even stronger than Continue reading

Man Up, Albany…Wait, Seriously?

14 Nov

Miller’s new billboard campaign reads “Man Up, [fill in the blank city].”  On my way home from Latham tonight I saw three Miller Lite billboards telling me to “Man Up.”  This bothers me on multiple levels.

First of all, I am a drinker of Miller Lite.  If I am going to have more than six beers, it’s usually Miller Lite.  Why?  Because for light beers it sucks less that Coors, Busch, Bud and Keystone…not because I enjoy it.  There has never once been a time in my life where I’ve felt like more of a man drinking a Miller Lite.  It was a diet decision for me.  I used to be the dark prince of Bud Heavies.  Shut up.  I was also on Lipitor at 21.  I feel like a total asshole drinking Miller Lite.

This is the other level it bothers me on.  Fran Fudge and Connie the Cat Lady Get Mad About Beer.  Ladies…Miller is dumb.  This campaign is dumb.  “A recent study shows that 9 out of 10 Miller Lite drinkers are misogynists…”  No.

Next time, how about claiming that your beer is quadruple hops brewed.  God dammit.  I already undergo enough scrutiny for being a pansy.